I’ve been meditating on and off for a few years now (Headspace tells me I’ve done 63 hours), but i still feel like I’ve no idea what I’m doing.
As unbiased as Andy (Headspace) makes all his sessions, i still feel there being an expectation.
Granted that this expectation is mine and i know i should not have expectations about my performance, but i can’t help it.
I still often feel like I’m such s beginner. I have difficulty maintaining the curiosity in the exercises, mind often wonders for most of the exercise, and that only leaves me feeling.
These feelings do not instill confidence that I’m getting better. Often, the only reason i continue the meditation session is because i promised myself i would, and i know they are adding value and stability to my mental health. Not because I’m enjoying them. Not because there’s clear improvement.
Discouraging… I know. But i will persist with hopes that this feeling diminishes.